Rabbit Heart
by Before Ever-After
Summary: The first betrayal hurts the most and then you learn to play the game. ZADE (post-2x16)


**Like everyone else, one of my automatic responses to episodes 15&16 was to fic it out, which is how the following story has been born (and because it seems to be the done thing to do, I'm going to express my thoughts at the bottom of th. Chapter if anyone really cares). So please note that this begins at the end of episode 16 and will not necessarily fit the rest of the series afterwards, although I will in no way rule out some overlap.**

**QUICK EDIT: So my line breaks never carried through on the first upload. Fixed that up here**

**SUMMARY: The first betrayal hurts the most and then you learn to play the game. ZADE**

**DISCLAIMER: Hart of Dixie isn't mine or this would be playing out via your television**

There was an emptiness inside of her that couldn't be filled. It had been delayed and diluted by the distraction of the reception - people had been happy there, happy enough that it had even begun to permeate through Zoe's despair - but now, wrapped in a quilt that smelt as old as she was, the television moving in front of her but making no sense, the emptiness had blossomed, filling her up. Zoe could fit in fingers in the wound that Wade had left and they probed, flexing and tearing at its edges and making it larger, until there was nothing of her left.

Wade Kinsilla had played her with the same expertise that he played her guitar and for so long she'd made such pretty noises as his fingers strummed at her strings. And she'd loved him - despite it all, Zoe still loved him. She wanted to hate him - God knew that anger would be easier to deal with than hurt, but Zoe still loved Wade and she'd loved him so fiercely that her heart had tattooed his name across her chest, leaving her trying to scratch it raw again now.

It hurt to breathe, to move, to think and yet Zoe did it anyway - with gasping, shuddering breaths, inhaling just as much water as air, fingers pulling the quilt more tightly around her, doe eyes staring and unseeing. Time past as she struggled, seconds bleeding into one another, but hours standing still and Zoe fighting all the while to unwrap herself from the quilt, or to move from Lavon's study. Yet that would mean leaving the relative safety that it offered - Wade hadn't tried to force his way in here, thank God, a small mercy in all the things that he'd done to hurt her. Zoe couldn't face Bluebell right now - couldn't stand the pity, or the judgement or the caring that the town was like to give her in the event that they knew. She didn't want it - didn't want any of it and had never wanted it until she'd got here and now this town had changed her and she should have known that she'd end up here, simply by knowing Wade.

And somehow, she'd fallen anyway and it had been beautiful and ugly, and left here feeling scarred and broken and feeling and empty. The woman found herself sobbing - she'd stopped hours ago but now she couldn't do a thing about it, knees pulling themselves up to her chest in some pretence of comfort, glittering tears falling against her form.

The time for tears had come, and Zoe couldn't have fought it if she'd tried.

* * *

Grief and shame and guilt warred inside of him, each an emotion both too big and to small to take precedence. He'd known this would happen - stupid, no damn good Wade Kinsilla wasn't worth more than a night with most girls, let alone a girl like Zoe Hart. They'd both known it really - they'd protected themselves with the idea that it was nothing serious to start with, but it had been and they'd let it been. Only, Wade was a screw up and everyone knew it.

He couldn't remember the girl's name, nor the taste of her lipstick, but he could remember the moment that he'd remembered Zoe and how much he loved her and he could remember the hurt that had blossomed in her eyes when he'd confirmed what she'd known since he hadn't come home that night. He would forever remember the judgement that followed him as news of what he'd done leaked through the town, tempering the joy that had sprung up over Tom and Wanda's wedding. Wade had screwed up, as always and people were finally beginning to believe him when he insisted that he was no good.

Scowling and grunting with anger, damp cloth was slapped against the Bar top of the Rammer Jammer, Wade turning away, swiping hands across his eyes. Stupid - all he ever was, all he ever would be. Shelley glanced up for a moment and Wade caught the concern in her eyes until she remembered what he'd done, looking away from him just as hurriedly and the man cursing, stalking out of the bar and muttering about taking his break. She was probably glad to see him gone, because no one wanted him around, anyway.

Raising his face to the empty sun, Wade cursed, the sound tearing at his throat and his chest and ending in a sob, turning in on himself, hands falling against his knees and leaving an ache deep in the muscle.

He was a screwup, he should have seen it coming.

He'd hurt her, he should have seen it coming.

He still wanted her.

He should have seen it coming.

* * *

"Four o'clock? That sounds excellent," Swollen and low with tears as it was, Zoe's voice was strong and determined. She'd finally gotten herself from that couch, the blanket left to pool haphazardly at its feet and she'd showered, hair still wet and lingering on her shoulders. She still ached - she would ache for along time yet - but already she could see past the previous night.

She just couldn't be in Bluebell right now. Brick had understood, but hadn't taken the news that Zoe was going all that well - even as she shot back the amount of time he'd taken off jetting to and from with his previous girlfriend, or hunting or watching football and everything else that it was that he'd done - repeating what he'd told her before the shamble of his daughter's wedding; that he'd spent too much time on her for her to leave now. Yet she couldn't stay - her mind was in no place to be diagnosing anyone and it was with a definitive date of return that Brick had finally stopped arguing and allowed Zoe to do the one thing that she wanted to.

Go home to her mother.

Her bags were packed and her ticket booked - Lavon had agreed to drive her to the airport although he'd looked sad when he'd done so - and all she had left to do was blow out her hair.

If only she could dry Wade so easily from her heart.

The doctor sighed, teeth worrying the edge of her lip as she dashed the tears that had welled in her eyes, turning and walking into the bathroom. Maybe things would make more sense in New York.

**So, we meet the end of chapter one - I don't know exactly how the story will progress from here, nor how regularly I will be able to update, but I'm hoping to follow this through. Please also note that the chapter above was rather hastily written and unedited so is likely a bit rough - especially with my iPad's autocorrect! So if you do notice any grammatical/spelling errors, please point them out! Reviews of any other kind are welcome as well.**

**So onto my thoughts about last episode - firstly, unlike the general consensus of the fandom, I actually think that this was an incredibly in character - ableit heartbreaking - move for Wade. Yes, we have seen some amazing growth and amazing maturity from Wade in the past few weeks and the beginning of a much better man, but that doesn't change three decades of whom he has been - the laid back, no commitments, whatever goes kind of guy. The guy that has cheated in the past without caring about it, the guy that doesn't really want a serious relationship.**

**And I'm not saying that Wade couldn't have moved on from that, of course he could have, but he's not a totally different person in a couple of episodes. And then you look at his self esteem issues - he believes he is a screw up, has been told he was a screw up all his life by his brother, by his father, by the town that he lives in and over time he's grown to believe it from himself - so there's not that drive there to better himself, to break out of those habits or to be anything other than he's been told he will be. And so he believes he's a screw up, believes that Zoe's going to realise it one day and leave him because no matter how much he tries, he will eventually fail and Zoe Hart of all people doesn't not accept failure. So he gets himself drunk and he falls back into that pattern of 'well I'll be a screwup because that's what everyone says I am.'**

**This isn't an out of character or an unrealistic move before - I've been through a similar situation myself (I didnt cheat, that I will promise you) where I established this absolutely -amazing- friendship with a guy that I really really liked. And then I convinced him to study at the same university as me, he moved down and I got scared, felt pinned into a corner and backed right off. Ultimately I lost the friendship because I couldn't explain how I felt or why I was so scared and that's exactly what happened here.**

**So I know people are angry - I'm absolutely devastated myself - but I think that it has the potential to turn into an amazing storyline if they expand on these insecurities and have Wade really address them and not just brush it under the carpet (But HoD's also my guilty pleasure show and GP shows should not make you cry like I did!)**


End file.
